At the beginning, I mentioned how to make yourself better, so you need to remember the following 16 experiences to maintain a long-term relationship.
- Women and men have different emotional needs
(1) Women crave more respect, understanding, loyalty, comfort, and consideration.
(2) Men crave more appreciation, acceptance, admiration, and encouragement.
Only by meeting the basic needs of the other party can it be transformed into emotional needs. These two are interchangeable, for example. Women are considerate and understanding of men, and men naturally reciprocate with care and tenderness.
- Be as authentic as possible in your relationship, don’t just please the other party, because this will only lower your dignity and posture. Such a relationship won’t last long. Be your authentic self with your partner, so they can fall in love with the real you.
- The two are separate entities, but when they come together, they need to find common ground to increase their interaction and understanding, so they need to learn to respect each other’s interests and hobbies. Learn to integrate into the relationship between each other. Because what you’re looking for is a partner, not another version of yourself.
- Tolerance for each other: Men need to learn to tolerate. When women cry, there’s no need to complain anymore, because women have already conceded. Then you should appropriately give her some tenderness. And women, when men give you a way out, you should also give him some face.
- Whether a relationship can last long depends mainly on whether you get along comfortably, not always sticking to each other. Sometimes, holding on too tight can make the other party feel suffocated and perceive love as a form of oppression, creating a feeling of not wanting to be in a relationship.
- Since you’ve found the person you like, don’t compare them with others, because without comparison, there’s no harm. No one is perfect, what you see are the advantages of others. Comparing with others is a harm to your partner.
- Don’t share your relationship problems with the people around you, because they can’t empathize with all the details in your emotional life. If you share all your things with your friends, the more you say, the more likely you are to magnify the conflicts between you.
- Don’t disturb him when he’s busy with his career. Giving each other more private space is of great help to the relationship between each other. You have to understand that love is not a necessity in life. But you can’t be without a career.
Even if you’re married, don’t say “you’re my husband, there should be no secrets between us”. Can you bear this sentence on yourself?
- Empathize more and give the other party positive feedback. Because everyone lives in a noisy life, there are inevitably many troubles. So if you can empathize with the other party’s mood, you can achieve an emotional resonance and make him feel that you understand.
- Some secrets are best kept in the stomach, because the unbearable past and past mistakes have nothing to do with your current relationship. If you decide to be with him, just love him well, keep some secrets in your stomach, sometimes it’s better not to say it than to say it.
- It’s best to be financially independent, and don’t hold the idea of marrying you and supporting me for a lifetime. Either financial independence or career independence. If you have nothing, you are destined to have no sense of security.
This era is different from the era of parents, love is not marriage, it is necessary for couples to maintain financial independence, this can definitely reduce disputes between you. If you really want to get married, then go to discuss, who will manage the money, how to correctly allocate the money for the post-marriage life. During the love period, how to use money can only be maintained by the feelings and responsibilities between you.
- Respect the other’s choices and understand the other. Plays a very important role in long-term relationships. If the other party wants to do what they like, as long as it does not touch the bottom line, they can respect him, because he has his freedom.
- Praise is not divided between men and women. In a relationship, you must learn to praise each other. This is the lowest cost gift, and it will make him feel your respect and love.
But praise, must be natural and let the other party listen, naturally do not praise the other party for no reason, that is just flattery.
- After two people are together, there will be fewer and fewer common topics, so cultivate some common interests and hobbies. For example, when two people do the same thing, experience some. When things happen, topics naturally arise, because you have common memories and can share each other’s happiness.
- Don’t be too serious and calculating in love, you lose if you are too serious, learn to lower your expectations, many times it is because the expectations of the other party are too strong, leading to disappointment again and again
Many quarrels originate from what you want the other party to do, but the other party has not met your expectations, adjust your mentality, lower expectations, make fewer demands, and you can harvest more surprises in love
A good relationship can definitely make each other become better in it, it is us VS the future, not you VS me.
